I went to a bike race and a football game broke out ...

Greenbelt, 7/28

First of all, I forgot to bring a jersey. It was laying on my pillow, ready to be packed in the gear bag when time got really crunched and I had to go. So I did the race in a T-shirt that's about 6 years old and has a skate brand on the front. Fortunately, it was a "slim fit" and a lightweight material. We pinned it tighter in the back, and put the number on. By the end of the race I'm sure it looked disgusting soaked in sweat, but it was surprisingly comfortable.

The race went for about 6 laps without notice. Somewhere around the 6th or 7th lap, there was a guy that thought I cut him off when I was going for a line. He was coming up my outside and I was preparing to take the corner, but I didn't see him. So he yelled something like "Don't do that!" give or take. So, on account of how it wasn't something worth being all riled up about, I made sure to show him with my hands where I was going. I pointed to the outside of the road and motioned that I would be riding my bicycle up that portion of tarmac. Then, as we approached the corner, I used my hands to make a sweeping gesture around the corner, to indicate the line I would take, which would have me going from the outside of the corner, through the apex, and then outside again.

For some reason, he felt like I was being a smart-ass. Which I was. Then he took it personally. Which I didn't intend in the first place, but this dude had been yelling and acting immature for the laps leading up to this, so it wasn't exactly a surprise. So he came up next to me and said a bunch of stuff that I didn't really hear because we were on a descent and I've been close to a 5" gun going off on a Destroyer. What I did get, however, was that he was going to "Ruin this kid's race" and "If he tries to go off the front again, I'm gonna stick on his wheel" and "I'm going to make his race horrible." Which all was weird because he was talking to me, but possibly about an imaginary third person? Or maybe about me? I hate it when people talk about themselves in the third person, and it's just confusing when they talk about me in the ... third? fourth? I don't know which person that was.

After a while, I realized he was, indeed, talking about me. Apparently I'm a kid now. There were multiple times that he was talking trash and saying that he didn't care about winning provided he could ruin my race, and that if I tried to go off the front, he was going to stick on my wheel, and if Mojo went off the front, he would stick on his wheel. Later, some would refer to him as 'Chatty Cathy.' So I went off the front a few times just to sit up and wait for the pack. I may or may not have been playing into his little game. I also tried to figure out what was going on a lot. I just didn't get why he was so angry with me.

So Mojo and I did our turns at the front, tried to keep the pace high (It was later grumbled that the pace was higher this week than normal [we high-fived upon hearing that,]) and did what we normally do in a race. On the last lap the pace was about where it had been, and I knew that 'Chatty Cathy' was going to be on my wheel no matter what, so I tried to get behind him but that didn't work so we ended up next to each other. I tried to keep as far left as possible to let the right side open up, but someone else pulled in there and decided to play the waiting game. We were 3-4 abreast and I was starting to wonder if this would be a good time to put my trackstand skillllz to the test when someone went up the left side. The guy that went up the left had a serious kick, and I tried to catch on, but partly didn't have it, and partly thought he went too early. I downshifted something like 4 times in the sprint because we had started out so slow, and I'll be damned if I didn't finish third. The results have me as 4th so I must have missed someone on my side, but that's all good.

I'm not sure where 'Chatty Cathy' ended up, but if his main goal was to ruin my race, he sure failed. I was really happy with my finishing place, even more happy to hear that we had set the pace higher than normal, and of course I was riding my bike and not putting up baseboards, so that was another win.

After the race, it was reported that Mojo had taken his hands off the bars and pushed someone off the road. I was accosted as I turned in our race numbers by 'Chatty Cathy' who took a few steps toward me as he was trying to yell at his teammate that it was my team and some sort of other craziness. After everything he said during the race, I tuned out when he came toward me and focused on body language. I don't know what his deal was, but I'd be fine with never seeing him again.

When we talked to the officials, it was brought to light that the guy that was so brutally pushed off course by the mighty hand of Mojo wasn't actually the one that complained. In fact, the guy that was forced off course was understanding inasmuch as he realized that racing bicycles is an imperfect thing to be a part of, and gave the inexperienced rider a good lesson in how to conduct himself during a sprint. Knowing Mojo like I do, there's no way he would take his hands off the bars for anything other than to grab a frosty beverage, and he is self-aware enough to not run someone off the road unless it's the absolute last possibility.

In the end, I couldn't help but feel like we had just finished playing a football game. A lot of people talking with their mouths and not their legs combined with ungodly levels of testosterone and anger led to a lack of etiquette that I've never seen, much less been a part of, in cycling. I promote this sport to my friends and family as being the quintessential opposite of those things, but apparently it isn't always that way. I'll be back to the series next week but regardless of what happens or what is said, I'll do the talking with my legs.

And I'll remember to bring a jersey.

Hagerstown Criterium of Championships

So, you wanna just skip to the end? We can just cut this whole damn thing right here with three letters. DNS. Anyway, carrying on ...

Everything went wonderfully on the way up to the venue. I had everything laid out in a much more orderly manner than I typically do, and my morning went well. I even got to watch a very boring stage of the Tour.

I got to the race, signed in, got the number pinned, and started warming up. The warm-up went really well, I got the right amount of big efforts, the right amount of spinning, and the right amount of cruising. Everything was going great. 15 minutes before the start, I took a lap of the course and then stopped by the porta-john to make sure I was as light on liquids as possible.

As I got on my bike and went around the first turn, I stood up to get some speed, and crack! My bars went completely limp in my hands. Just like ...

You can figure it out. I thought that the bolts had been loose or come loose, but after I got off and looked closely, I realized that the faceplate of my stem had broke. I figured I was hosed, but I went to the car and got a 4mm allen wrench, and started asking people if they were going to stick around, and if I could borrow their faceplate.

I had no luck whatsoever, and became a spectator. My teammate came in top-10 which was good, but I'd bet that if there were 2 of us, at least one would have been top-5.

This is the part where I give you my opinion that's not related to racing.

The modern bike industry is really pushing its luck. I bought this stem a couple years ago before the Shimano PRO stuff had landed in the U.S. and I paid a pretty penny for it. It was the only 130mm stem I could find, though, and I kind of had to.

The reason the stem broke wasn't because I was using it in an improper manner, and it wasn't because of something ridiculous like over-tightening the bolts. The only way that would work would be if I had tightened them so much that I had flattened material outside of the milled/molded counter-bore. And I've never installed my bars while I was giant, green, and pissed off so I don't think that's possible.

The reason it broke was because Shimano was trying to make the lightest stem they possibly could. I've known the thing is flexy and bendy at all the wrong times, but I didn't expect that it was made with so little aluminum that it would just plain break. Something about that seems utterly wrong. Of course, it's not brand-new, but then neither are a lot of my other components that are on my bike. This, in my opinion, is a bit like the Madone Headtubes that keep breaking.

And what will Trek's fix for the problem be? They'll add more material to the carbon fiber layup. That's it. Just put material where it should have been in the first place. Instead of making the product as light as possible while still being strong and reliable, we're seeing the big bike manufacturers battle each other for lightness at the expense of making a worthwhile product.

Looks like I've got all the excuse I need to buy that 3T stem I've been eyeing. Unless someone wants to give me $300ish to buy another Shimano PRO stem. Have you seen the one Cav rides? Apparently they hook up their best riders with something worthwhile, and then put a 5000% markup on it.